Hey Look It's Mah Blawg

is lifting his jugs of Hawaiian punch like weights. I can appreciate multitasking.

I saw there was a new casino built by my office. I went in and played blackjack with some guy and won $430 dollars. I walked to the bank to deposit it into my account, and the teller was ironing my laundry. She deposited my money, and I folded my clothes. Then I went to the parking deck & couldn’t find my car. What.

I want a kid like Sophia Grace.

(Source: riddlemetom)

(Source: visiblemonster)

(Source: shitshilarious)

(Source: crookedbottomteeth)

If you ever want to seriously injure/kill, this would be a great weapon. Just tell the dummy to do the splits. Oops femoral artery sliced. Claim accident. No one but Bambi would know.

(Source: diabetic-homeless-hookers)

the-village-elder:

The giant golden-crowned flying fox (Acerodon jubatus), also known as the golden-capped fruit bat, is a rare megabat and one of the largest bats in the world. The species is endangered and is currently facing the possibility of extinction because of poaching and forest destruction. It is endemic to forests in the Philippines

I will never ever ever go to the Phillipines.

(Source: iamthewalrustoned)

It was always an epic battle between my brother and I. The prize was the banana with the sticker on it. Victory.

Hey Look It's Mah Blawg

Fine Folk

The guy in front of me in line at WalMart

I usually never remember my dreams, but I’ve been thinking about this one I had last night.